There is a rumor circulating that Santa is fed up. They say he’s tired of giving!
“What has giving gifts gotten me?” The jolly one was quoted as asking the crowd at a recent Thanksgiving Parade.
Immediately he began receiving responses from the crowd talking of holiday cheer, the Christmas spirit, children who adore him and plate after plate of cookies. Santa responded to the group with only a frown. From what I gathered, a frowning Santa is a sight you never want to see.
More of the upset onlookers chimed in that he is a legendary figure. His portrayal in movies, books and songs keep his name in the minds of his adoring fans year after year. That had to be worth something, right?
Santa’s face is said to have turned blood red before he started on a long winded rant.
“Don’t get me started on that. You think I ever receive any royalties? Hollywood and all those artists getting paid while I sit in my little cottage preparing for the next holiday. Day after day of planning my trip, making sure the gifts are ready, feeding the reindeer, listening to those annoying elves sing, mapping out my trip and deicing my glasses only to realize I forgot little Timmy’s new phone. Then all you hear is Santa sucks and why doesn’t Santa care? And by the way, when did we decide kids should get expensive game systems or smartphones? What’s wrong with a toy soldier or a cute teddy bear? Do you know how hard it is to fit a set of drums down a chimney?…..”
From my understanding this went on for quite a while. Santa only stopped when he realized most of the crowd had dispersed. Since then he has continued his rants in the form of tweets like
“Stocking up on coal for everyone this year. Merry Coalmas ya’ll! – #Santaaintyourservent ”
I have a plan to hopefully get Santa out of his funk. I figure we have all enjoyed and taken advantage of Santa’s jolliness for too long without offering him anything in return. It’s time for payback. Getting Santa gifts though, is not what I’m thinking. What does Santa need that he couldn’t get or make himself? Can’t be much.
So what I propose is to set Santa up with a GoFundMe campaign. Just think, if you want a certain gift you don’t ask for it. Instead, you donate enough to receive the tier equal to your desire. In addition, you get the smaller gifts as well. Here’s my idea of a sample, but I’m sure once we get Santa involved the tiers will be much better.
- Tier one: For a five dollar donation receive a stuffed teddy, a coloring book and crayons.
- Tier two: For a fifty dollar donation receive a video game and all the above.
- Tier Three: For a five hundred dollar donation receive a smart phone and all the above.
- Tier Four: For a donation of thirty thousand dollars receive a new car and all of the above.
- Tier Five: Donate at least a hundred thousand and when Santa visits, you can wake the kids and let them eat cookies together with the big guy – Plus, all of the above.
I figure this way, Santa can see how much people love what he does by the amount his campaign raises. It would have to be the all time best campaign. I know the money probably doesn’t mean much to him, but the amount of people responding should be enough to turn his frown upside down. If anyone complains about not getting what they wanted, just ask them “Well, did you support the GoFundMe?”
we still have a few weeks to get this going so Santa will be glad to head out on Christmas Eve. Who’s with me?